Bisexuals – we’re greedy, confused, in transition, attention whores and sluts.
We are inadvertently from social media or heard these stereotypes. If you identify with bisexual, just like me, you are likely to encounter a lot of misunderstanding in your daily life.
In the world, everything is seen as black and white, this or that, the bisexual is misunderstood and distorted. We are grey areas, in neither gay nor straight groups. Unfortunately, this means that we are faced with a double-edged sword of discrimination that leads to many of these misconceptions and stereotypes.
Today I want to expose the truth about some of the most common misconceptions that I have ever encountered. I hope this truth can help us to realize that no sexual orientation should be discriminated against. Love is love.
“It’s just a phase.”
Yes, it is true that sometimes people experience bisexual as a way of discovering their own sexual orientation rather than the true. However, it is assumed that ALL bisexual people are harmful in the experimental stage. It is not a stage, but rather a life and identity, for those who truly identify with. So be careful not to think of someone’s life as a stage.
“Bisexuals are in transition to gay/lesbian lifestyles.”
This is only an extension of the “it is just a stage” of the ideological framework. The only difference is that this stage is considered to be a road to homosexuality. Yes, some men and women are seen as bisexual before they become gay or lesbian, just as some people have been identified as heterosexual before they are gay or lesbian. Even the opposite is true. Some people identified as gay / lesbian before coming out as straight. But there are those of us who continue to be identified as BI. For us, it is very insulting, and people decide that our identity is just another way. We also attracted two kinds of gender. That’s what it’s all about.
“Bisexuals are indecisive or confused.”
This is the overriding idea that we, as bisexual, can’t control our thoughts. We are confused and irresolute and hesitant. What makes me sad is that you hear this from gay and straight. If it is gay, lesbian or straight sex is not an option, then why do people think this is our choice? The same rules apply here, people. We do not play by different rules merely because we do not fall clearly on one side or the other. So is bisexual a choice. We can’t control the attraction. We love the people we love.
“Bisexuals are greedy.”
That’s what I heard from the gay and lesbian community over and over again. We are greedy because we do not narrow our scope to a sex. This is ridiculous. Yes, we attract a lot of people, but there are more people who refuse us. Bisexuals are not walking around with a string of men on one arm and a string of women on the other. It’s not bisexual. We can attract more than one sex, just as we all can attract more than one race, hair color, etc..
“Bisexuals are promiscuous.”
Apparently, there’s this big assumption that because we are attracted to both men and women, making our sea of potential suitors larger, than we must be big sluts. I mean double the numbers, double the fun, right? Error. Just because we love more than one sex doesn’t mean that we want to test each of the production model or location. Some bisexual people like sex abuse, but some straight and gay / lesbian do the same. It has nothing to do with sexual orientation, which is related to the choice of personal preference and lifestyle.
“Bisexuals love threesomes.”
I cannot tell you the number of offers or invitations I have had to join a couple in their bedroom, often by males who discovered I was bisexual.
1) I’m sure your girlfriend will find you seduce me!
2) it doesn’t mean that I’m attracted to you or your girlfriend / boyfriend!
3) being attracted to both sexes does not necessarily mean that bisexuals want to have sex with both simultaneously.
Yes, there are a lot of bisexual people like threesomes. However, it doesn’t mean that we have an automatic tendency to jump into bed with you and your girlfriend, or vice versa. Again, sexual orientation does not determine what we like to do in the bedroom, but who.
“Bisexuals cannot be in a monogamous relationship.”
This stereotype is rooted in the idea that a bisexual man needs a man and a woman. One is not enough. In our society, when I first revealed my sexual orientation to my mother, she asked, “does your boyfriend support a girlfriend?” The poor woman had been led to believe that being bisexual meant being polyamorous. Let me set the record straight. At that time, I had a love relationship with a man. I’m not cheating. I don’t have a girlfriend but my boyfriend. I didn’t leave him with a woman. I am a faithful monogamous relationship. Yes, it is possible. A person’s sexual orientation has nothing to do with their relationship.
“Bisexual is basically a synonym for cheating.”
And some people accuse the bisexual that bisexual is a liar. It seems that some people worry that bisexual men and women will leave a man / woman dating with the opposite sex. If a bisexual person cheats, it is a reflection of their character, not their sexual orientation. Cheaters have a variety of shapes, sizes, races, genders, sexual orientation.
“One cannot identify as bisexual unless they have had a relationship with a man and a woman.”
Once I was asked about my sexual history by a male friend. I’m going to bypass this issue because I think what’s happening in my bedroom is nothing to do with him, which leads to this statement, “if you don’t have sex with a woman, you’re not bisexual. Maybe heterosexual.” I’m shocked! How can you define a person’s sexual acceptance through what they have or not? It’s like saying everyone is a virgin without sexual orientation. They are merely gay-curious, straight-curious, or bicurious. A person has the capability to identify who they are attracted to before they ever sleep with them or even kiss them. For instance, how many of you were attracted to your significant other before you ever hit the sheets?
“Bisexual women are just attention whores.”
A few years ago and a few times later, I heard someone say, “bisexual women don’t exist.” “They’re all just drunk girls looking for attention.” You know those women who make out at the bar or frat party in an attempt to titillate all the men folk. Yeah, they don’t approve of bisexual. If they do, they’re not necessarily the whole group. In fact, many of us don’t like guys staring at us when we’re dating a woman. Maybe you can’t judge the whole group by ‘Girls Gone Wild’ groupies partying it up at the bar.
“Bisexuals are not as oppressed as lesbian, gay or transgendered individuals because they are ‘half-straight.”
We are not “half-straight”, we are bisexual – attract two sexes (sometimes equal, sometimes not). We strive to be recognized, but also face discrimination against gay and heterosexual communities. We don’t fit into either and neither truly accepts us. Isn’t it time that the gay community, who is struggling for acceptance, offered up some of that acceptance to us? I know a lot, but what I’m going to tell you is, Gay. Lesbian. Straight. Bisexual. Love is love.
We’re here. We’re queer.
There is a bisexual. We are not a myth, fairytale, or drug induced trip. We’re just attracted to two people. In a relationship, it does not define our character, action, or who we are. It just defines how attractive we are to sex. Always remember that love is love.